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(rants, mumblings, unwanted secrets, and more regarding Jon Charles Newman, Essen Dreck, and the Silence Is Golden label)


Buy my damn CD...

Hear my mp3s...

To the playlist...

To the webcam...

To some (newly updated) links...

Make me feel better, sign my guestbook...

Into more Dreck...

To the wishlist (OK, shower me with gifts, it's all right)...

Get in touch...

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Wednesday, November 29, 2000
Julian Cope recorded a great little song called "Doomed," on the hysterically funny Skellington album. To a singsongy cheapo organ riff, he sings:
"I'm doomed.
I'm doomed.
I'm doomed to lie in this hospital bed
With visions of sugar plums in my head
I'm doomed."
So I'm doomed to be miserable and lonely and insane and a pain in the ass to everyone I know and a failure at most everything I try - and there's got to be something hilarious about that, I swear.
So who's buying my drinks tonight?

So who's buying my drinks tonight?

It appears clearer that each step I make toward more connections will separate me further, widen the distance between myself and other humans. Each attempt I make to become normal makes me more of a freak. Each outstretched hand is an invitation to be slapped - but that's not the fault of the one doing the slapping: it's only a natural reflex. My disgust at viewing myself is only matched by my confusion at a world I am utterly unable to comprehend, reshape, or find a place in.

Tuesday, November 21, 2000
Since I take an interest in web pages and Internet technology, and am prone to discuss it; but I know comparatively little about it; it has been determined that I am a GEEK SAVANT.

Friday, November 17, 2000
...a cloak you wear,
A deep shade of blue that is always there...

Thursday, November 16, 2000
disappearing, bit by bit.... silence beckons.... Time speeds by, stops only long enough to snidely laugh and sneer.

Strange dream last night... all I'll say here is that it had something to do with an erotic charge of spirituality taking pains to portray itself as a sham. Hmmm, sounds like someone I know.....

Friday, November 10, 2000
Such an American consumerist sap. Owning my own domain name just feels so much more, y'know, real.

Thursday, November 09, 2000
Anyone who believes in progress in urban planning must visit The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit. It's a fantastic travelogue through the mythology of economic splendor and its real-life residue. The main difference where I come from (L.A.) is that they don't wait to demolish anything - if someone can make a dime building something new, they will.

Wednesday, November 08, 2000
Doing my best to avoid election coverage. Trying to avoid the hope that comes from knowing that the only person in Florida with whom I have any contact at all is solidly anti-Bush. I'd like to say that if 50% of the people in this country are stupid enough to want Bush than they deserve him, but, of course, they take me down with them. Gawd bless Ammurickkka.

Monday, November 06, 2000
At last, Check it out!

1. How personal to make one's work? Does it matter to anybody (or, more importantly, to the quality of the work itself) if there are personal references - or does it detract? What good (or bad) is it for me to sing "Never never ever gonna get any better"?

This begs the next question:
2. Am I truly shouting in a vacuum? What does (or should) it mean that I am as sure of my talent as I am of my inability to make anything of it within my lifetime? For some time it hasn't worked to fall on the old idea of "just doing the work without worrying about the possibility of success" - the work itself is (and has to be) ABOUT the social contexts of imagined rewards or punishments, successes or failures, expectations or windfalls: artistic, commercial, social, political, financial.....

3. Does the concept of "owing it to your talent to make it" make any sense? Maybe my talent owes me and not the other way around.....

Saturday, November 04, 2000
Efff teee peeee......
Is like a mystery to meeeee.....

Friday, November 03, 2000
So how do they get "blog" as a diminutive of "weblog"? I mean, we don't pronounce it "wee-blogg," do we?

Thursday, November 02, 2000
do I post a change?

OK, so today it's working.... tomorrrow, who knows? Hey kids, get it while you can!!!

hi de hi de ho